“Baby, I miss you.” (Gabriel)
It was a bittersweet night for Lucy. She went to Dogma, her favourite nightclub, to lose herself in the music. She came alone. Then she saw Gabriel and it hurt. It seemed wrong that emotional pain could be physical, but it was. Gabriel said they were ‘on a break’. Everyone knows what that means. She had one glorious hour to herself and then she saw him. He was dancing alone. Phew, Lucy thought. She could not have handled it if he was with someone. Then she looked up and he had seen her. She froze. What to do, Lucy thought. She didn’t have to wait. Gabriel came over and picked her and held her in his arms. They kissed each other hungrily, holding tight to each like they feared to let go. Tears ran down her face. They stopped kissing and he saw her tears. Wiping them off her face, he whispered “baby”. She saw his lips move but couldn’t hear it above the music. He left Dogma after one more kiss. She felt more confused and hurt than before.
She dreamt she was kissing Gabriel and rolled over to be in his arms. She almost fell off the bed. There was that one brief moment when she didn’t know what had happened, and then it hit her. Gabriel had dumped her but kissed her last night. She sat up in bed noting her make-up smeared pillowcase. Shrugging her shoulders Lucy lay back down in bed, her head still spinning from the alcohol. What does it mean, she thought to herself. He had ignored her text messages and emails all week. She wasn’t hungry, again, so she put her headphones on and listened to Tool. Mum knocked on the bedroom door. It seems sleeping past 10 am was not allowed on a Saturday. Putting on a ‘happy face’ she left her room and went to have a shower. At least showers are private, Lucy thought to herself. She started crying, tears that wracked her entire body. She stifled her sounds as bathrooms amplify everything. She loved him so much, but how much did he love her?
Lucy’s mobile phone went off and she hoped the text message was from Gabriel. It wasn’t. It was Facebook telling her something pointless. Why kiss me, Lucy thought, but not say you love me? She felt numb. There were no more tears. She read the text message again. Missing is not loving. Everyone misses their favourite sweater, but buy a new one anyway. It seems Gabriel was in the market for another sweater to not commit to.